Classic signs of domestic abuse


  • If you have paid a lot of dowry like gold, land, money to marry an NRI man.
  • If all your educational qualifications are in the possession of your husband or his family.
  • If your passport and visa card is in the possession of your husband and you have no access to it.
  • If you are barred from speaking to your parents when you are on your own or barred from speaking to them at all.
  • If your phone calls are tapped or if there is a camera inside your house to monitor your movements by your husband while he is away.
  • If you are not allowed to work.
  • If you are working, you are transferring your entire salary to your husband’s account.
  • If your bank account is operated by your husband and you have no access to your account or don’t have your own debit card to use.
  • If you don’t know your husband’s salary or anything about his finance.
  • If you are not allowed to financially help your parents.
  • If you are given a credit card for all purchases and never given cash so all your spending could be tapped.
  • If you are not allowed to wear the clothes of your choice or are barred from speaking to other women outside.
  • If for every small thing your husband threatens to cancel your visa and deport you.
  • If you are given limited food or your chapattis are counted or you are not allowed to eat food of your choice.
  • If you are taunted for the way you look.
  • If you are not allowed to watch TV or listen to the music.
  • If your husband points out mistakes in your work like how you have folded the clothes or the food you cook or where you have left an item.
  • You are beaten for any small mistake. Slapped and then apologized to.

All the above signs are classic signs of abuse where sometimes there might be no physical abuse. You are a victim of domestic violence even if you are being controlled, enslaved or mentally abused. The person is so controlling is that he wants to isolate you by keeping you away from your friends and family so you can be fully dependent on him.

Please don’t ignore these signs. Sooner or later the situation will get worse and suffering is never a solution. Please make sure that you are safe. It will never bring shame to your family because no family wants to see their daughter suffer like this.

Don’t suffer alone and have the courage to say NO at the first sign of abuse, that can usually discourage abusers from using their power. They love using their power on weak people who can’t fight for themselves.

Even if you don’t have the courage to go to the Police then please report it to your GP and you could even write to us on or contact us via our social media page

We promise to keep your information 100% confidential and get you the best help possible.

Alternatively you can also contact:

The National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 200 0247.


Tags: abusive relationship, Carousal, controlling men, Indian women abuse abroad, NRI marriage, spouse dependent visa, you are not alone

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